Infidelity
by Svart Jasmin
Summary: Ana knows her husband is cheating on her, but she is too terrified of being alone that she won't leave him. Then she meets the one who brings her bravery and courage. HEA, No BDSM, AU, OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello all. I'm sorry many of you were waiting on an update of NIMWD, but I promise you,** _ **I have not abandoned it, nor will I ever do that.**_ **Real life has been real hard these past few months and at a certain point, I actually felt like I would never have the time to write again. However, the second I got a chance to write, I got this idea in my head that wouldn't leave me. And the muse gets what the muse wants, otherwise, she'll hide away again!**

 **This is a short story, 4 chapters in total. It's already complete, so I'll be posting one chapter each day. I hope you enjoy this one.**

 **Please keep in mind that at least Christian will be OOC in this story. There's not BDSM, no abuse in Christian's past, no Elena.  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **Ana POV**

I wake up with a start at the sound of someone moving around in the bedroom. I quickly glance at the bedside clock as soon as my eyes adjust to the darkness, and I see the time approaching 1 a.m.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" My husband's voice sounds in the room, making me sigh.

"It's ok." I say as I sit up in bed. "Is everything ok?"

"There's an emergency at the office. I have to go check it out." He says, his eyes not even meeting mine as he gives me his usual excuse.

Sometimes I wonder if he really thinks I believe him or if he knows that I know he's lying, but he just goes with the flow.

"Can't someone else take care of it?" I ask my usual question, already knowing the answer he'll give me.

"You already know that answer, Anastasia." He says, his voice filled with irritation and a hint of annoyance. "I'm the boss, I should be there whenever anything happens. Lead…"

"Lead by example." I finish for him. "Yes, I know."

"Don't roll your eyes at me!" He snaps, even though his eyes are fixed on his arm as he puts on his Rolex; the one I got him as a wedding gift.

The mere thought of the inscription on the back of that watch makes my stomach coil with disgust.

 _Love + Loyalty + Trust + Great Sex = A Great Relationship_

I was all smiles when I ordered it with the inscription, and the sales guy couldn't stop smiling when he read what I had written on my purchase order. Back then, I was sure that I had all elements of the equation. Now? I'm not sure I have any.

"Should I wait for you for breakfast?" I ask my other usual question; another one I already know the answer to.

"No. I'll probably stay there for the rest of the night. Depending on the situation, I might have to stay there tomorrow night as well." He says as he reaches for his keys and wallet from the nightstand by his side of the bed, and that's when I notice that the spot behind me has not been ruffled up even one bit.

That's new. He usually comes to bed before he gets _the_ phone call to leave.

I guess he spent more time on the phone tonight than he usually does.

 _Maybe he was trying to convince her that he doesn't want to meet tonight._

I scoff at the voice sounding in my head, fully knowing that it wasn't the case. He probably had phone sex with her, and when that wasn't enough, he decided that he wanted a taste of the real thing.

"Ok." I say with a sigh, making him finally look at me with apologetic eyes.

He always looks at me with apologetic eyes right before he goes to see her. I wonder what he's sorry for. Is he sorry for cheating on me? Is he sorry for lying to me? Is he sorry for not being able to leave me for her?

I guess I'll never know.

"I'm going to Portland tomorrow." I say, making his face morph into a mixture of confusion and surprise, then it quickly switches to anger as he realizes who I'll be meeting in Portland.

"I don't like that one bit, Anastasia!" He snaps again. "I've told you a million times that I don't like that boy. He wants in your panties."

"For crying out loud! Jose is my best friend and I haven't seen him in months. His gallery opening is tomorrow, which I have told you about countless times if I may add." I snap back at him, already sick and tired of this conversation. "You said you would come with me, but I guess with this _office emergency_ you won't be able to make it. I'm not going to miss Jose's big break because you're too busy to join me."

"Fine!" He huffs after a long minute of silence, his eyes shooting daggers at me. I stare right back into his eyes, silently daring him to say anything else. "But you will not be staying there overnight. I want you back here tomorrow night no later than 10 p.m."

"It's a 3 hours' drive, and the gallery opening is at 9. How do you see that working out?" I ask, making him close his eyes and take a deep breath, and I know for a fact that he's silently counting in his head so that he doesn't explode.

"Fine. I'll have Olivia book you the penthouse suite at the Heathman for tomorrow night." He says through gritted teeth after a long minute of silence.

"Thank you." I say as he leaves the room, but I know that he's not going to even acknowledge my words.

I stay sitting in bed for a few more minutes, fully knowing that I will not be able to go back to sleep, then I decide that I might as well get some writing done.

I put on my robe before I leave the room, keenly aware of the fact that the house is full of staff who I might run into at any second, and regardless of what anyone might say, I really wouldn't like them to see me in my night attire.

The second I walk into my small office, I make my way to the seated window that overlooks the Seattle skyline. This was his surprise for me when I agreed to move in with him only a few months after we started dating, and I immediately fell in love with it. I used to do all my work sitting in this exact spot, but now, I only use it for writing, because my dear rich husband refused to have a working woman for a wife when he could provide her with everything she wants.

Unfortunately, the one thing I crave the most is the one thing he will not provide me with.

 _A faithful husband._

The first time he left in the middle of the night only a few weeks after our first anniversary, I actually believed that he was running off to fix an emergency at the office. Stupidly, I believed him the second, third, and fourth time as well.

On the fifth time, I happened to complain to my best friend Kate about it, and she just stared at me open-mouthed for a good five minutes. She's the one who brought my attention to the fact that there's no business in the world that has that many emergencies without the world knowing about it, let alone a business as big as my husband's.

She then reminded me of the many times her father used that same lame excuse to go meet his mistress, leaving his wife in tears every time he walked out the door.

I remember feeling sorry for Kate's mother back then. I also remember promising myself that I would never allow myself to be put in that same position. Then I met him, and for the first year of our marriage, I never imagined that he would be the one to put me in that same exact position.

For the first few days after my talk with Kate, I stayed in denial about her theory of my husband cheating on me, but then the inevitable happened.

I saw them cozied up in a corner table of our usual restaurant during lunch. At first, I thought I was seeing things. Then I tried to convince myself that he was at a lunch meeting, like he had told me he was, and that he and that beautiful brunette were cozied up looking over some kind of papers.

Then he kissed her, and that was when I couldn't come up with any more excuses. My husband was cheating on me, and he was doing it in plain sight.

I went back home that day and drowned myself in a bottle of vodka. I had planned to confront him when he came home later that day. Only, he didn't. He stayed with her that night, and every time I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I kept imagining them in all sorts of positions.

That was 10 months ago, and it was the last time I could fall asleep when he was out with her, and the first time I started writing.

I guess there is _one_ good thing that have come out from his affair. I had always dreamed about becoming an author, to put my feelings into words; I just never got the courage to. That morning, when I finally sobered up, I took to my laptop and poured my heart into the keyboard.

I still have to summon up the courage to seek out publishers, but I guess a journey has to start somewhere, right?

I open my laptop and go over the latest chapter I wrote for my supernatural novel, but for some reason, my mind is just not into it tonight. It keeps going over my entire relationship with my husband, as if it's trying to figure out where I went wrong.

What I had done to make him seek out another woman.

A voice inside my head screams at me that it was not my fault. That it's only on him. That's he's the unfaithful asshole, but a louder voice silences that one out, and I'm left confused and feeling guilty, because on a deeper, very dark level of my heart, I somehow always knew that I would never be enough for him.

That I could never give him what he needs.

My husband seeks control in everything in life, even myself. Somehow, I think my first mistake was giving in to that. I guess I was a bit too submissive to his desires and wants to a certain level.

Our first meeting wasn't conventional by any standard. It was on the day of my first job interview right after I graduated college, and being the pessimist that I am, I never imagined I would get a second interview let alone get hired, so I didn't bother researching the company that had called me in for an interview.

Therefore, when I bumped into him on my way out of the interview, I didn't know who he was or that he was the CEO.

In my own defense, I had been living in Portland during college, and I was never one to keep up with the moguls of the business world. However, when I told Kate about what had happened, she went crazy on me, claiming that I was too ignorant and naïve for my own good.

I admit, I did find him attractive, but I never imagined things would go beyond that bump that sent me flying onto my ass in the middle of the street in front of his building. I was a 22 year-old virgin who never went on a date. I knew how guys felt about me. I was the bookworm who guys stayed away from, while Kate was the one who got all the attention. So, when I got the job, I never imagined that he had a role in that. Unfortunately, I only found out that small tidbit after we got married, and only by accident.

I say _unfortunately_ now, but I can't really tell for sure if it would have made a difference if I had known before.

But what do the old folks say? _What's done is done_ , and now I have to suck it up every time he comes up with an excuse to go see his mistress.

Kate keeps asking me why I haven't left him yet, and every time she asks, I dodge the question and never give her an answer.

Why? Because the simple answer is that I'm too pathetic to leave him. My parents died when I was 17, and the state granted Kate's parents temporary custody of me until I turned 18. I never had a boyfriend until I met him. He was my first everything. My first kiss, my first sex, my first boyfriend, my first love.

My first heartbreak.

But until that fateful afternoon when I saw him with his mistress, I was the happiest woman in the world, or at least I'd like to believe I was.

When I applied for a job at his company, it was for an HR assistant. Miraculously, when I got the job offer, it was for the assistant of the CEO's PA. When I got my job description, my duties and responsibilities were clear-cut, no room for any kind of confusion. However, when the CEO asks you to do something that is not part of your job description, you do it without asking any questions, simply because it's your first job and you would like to keep it for at least a few months.

Slowly, I began to take on the duties of his PA, making me spend more time with him, and making me get to know him better. Again, I have to admit, I liked what I got to know. He was a great man who made a name for himself from scratch. He had a rough start at life, but he got over that and became one of the most influential people in the state.

A month after I started working there, I got a delivery of beautiful wild flowers to my desk, and the card only had a number on it. Being someone who only received bills for a delivery my entire life, I quickly asked to take a break and made that call.

To say that I was shocked when I heard his voice on the other end of the line would be the understatement of the century. I couldn't speak for a good five minutes, and when the door of the meeting room I was hiding in opened up and he walked in, I felt my knees gave up and had to sit.

For the following 10 minutes, we just stared at each other, and my mind was spinning with how I was going to resign and keep my dignity intact, because I was convinced he was pranking me. The hot, rich CEO over the poor, average girl.

I remember wishing I was Carrie back then, wanting to blow him up with my mind over his rude behavior, but then he asked me out, and I ended up bursting in uncontrollable laughter. When I finally calmed down, the look of utter confusion and humiliation on his face made me realize that he was dead serious, and I remember wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.

I turned him down that first time, saying that it was very unprofessional of him to ask his PA's assistant on a date. He accepted my refusal for all of two days, and then he began his _wooing_ , as he likes to call it.

Kate was the one who finally convinced me to give him a chance, and I only regretted ever listening to her after I found out about his affair. Until then, he made all my dreams come true. He was the perfect lover, boyfriend, best friend.

He was the perfect everything.

He asked me to move in with him 3 months into our relationship, and then he proposed a month after. We were married within 2 months of that. Now that I think about it, I realize that things moved too fast for us. Maybe if we had taken our time, we wouldn't have gotten to where we are now.

I happily quit my job when we got married. He said that there was no need for me to work when he had enough money to make all my dreams come true. I even stopped seeing Kate as much as I used to because he said that my focus should be more on him rather than my friends.

Jose was a completely different story. He never hid his feelings about Jose, and his hatred towards him made it impossible for me to stay in touch with him without it turning into a huge fight. I guess I was blind to all the signs around me, because I did cut Jose off. However, two days after I found out about the affair, I picked up the phone and called him. I made up some kind of lame excuse about not being in touch for that much of a time, an excuse I couldn't remember now if my life depended on it, but I guess Jose is such a good friend that he never pushed for more answers and just gave me his friendship back.

That's why I promised to make it to his gallery opening tomorrow, and that's why no matter what my husband says or how he feels, I'm not going to miss it.

I look at the clock on my table and I realize that I was drowned in my thoughts for a good 5 hours. I decide to change and go to the private gym in our building, to let off some of the pent up energy I have coursing through my veins. I've been trying to convince myself that that pent-up energy is only energy that cannot find an outlet, but what I've been in denial about is that a huge part of that energy is sexual frustration.

I haven't been able to get an orgasm, self-induced or otherwise, since I found out about my husband's infidelity. We haven't been as sexually active as we were in the beginning of our relationship, but I think our sex life has been rendered down to that of sheer obligation. Somehow, I think my husband approaches me for sex just to make himself feel better, or as an attempt not to have me doubt his fidelity. And being the pathetic woman I am, who refuses to leave her cheating husband, I give in to his advances, because if I don't, he'll know that I know.

And I don't want him to know.

I don't know how he would react if he found out about my knowledge, but one thing I don't want is for him to leave me for her. We never signed a prenup before our marriage, so I know that's not an option to him right now, simply because I'm eligible to take half of everything he owns. However, as much as I love my rich life, I couldn't care less about the money.

All I care about is not being alone again.

That is why I suck it up every time an _office emergency_ happens. That is why I keep my mouth shut every time he pretends to go to a _lunch meeting._ That is why I pretend not to care when he forgets important occasions because of _work issues_.

And that is why I don't mind being the trophy wife he wants me to be. All in favor of never being alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: First of all, thanks to everyone who took the time to read, review, follow, and favorite the story. I woke up to 135 emails this morning, and to say that my mind was blown would be an understatement. I'm sorry I didn't respond to any of the reviews, but I couldn't because I simply would've given away too much information. Many of you asked the right question, and some of you even made the right guess. This chapter will answer all of your questions, I hope. Let me know what you think.**

 **Oh, and I don't have a beta, so all mistakes for this chapter, the one before, and any future chapters are mine and mine alone.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **Ana POV**

I take a deep breath as I get out of my car. I've made it just in time for Jose's gallery opening because I couldn't decide on what to wear. The crazy traffic on the way didn't help either.

I make my way to the House of Visual Arts across the street from where I've parked, and I try to balance myself over the heels I'm wearing. For one reason or another, for the first time in 10 months, I've gone all out in my attire and looks, as much as a woman could for a photography gallery opening. I'm wearing a pair of skinny blue jeans with thigh-high boots, along with a white tube top and a long black jacket over. I've let my hair down in waves over my shoulder, and accessorized with a silver necklace and hoop earrings. My makeup is light and smokey, and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt sexy and attractive on my way out of the house.

As I approach the front door of the gallery, the streetlight reflects over my wedding rings, and for a reason I cannot explain, I freeze in my spot and look at them. For the life of me, I can't tell what goes through my mind, but I reach for them and start to pull them off.

"Ana, you made it!" I hear, making my hands drop and my head snap up, as if I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

"Jose!" I smile and move to greet my friend, momentarily forgetting about my wedding rings. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks, love." Jose says before he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me into a strong hug. "Listen, I need to tell you something before you go inside."

I feel my body tense at his tone of voice, and I take a step back to look at him, only to find him looking at me with apologetic eyes.

 _What's with those silent apologies and men?!_

"What's wrong?" I ask, concerned by his behavior.

"Um… I really need to start by apologizing for not asking for your permissions first, but I swear I was planning to do it but then I got swamped with the preparations and the opening that I completely forgot about it."

"Forgot about what, Jose?" I ask, now feeling somewhat nervous.

"Remember all those photos I used to take of you back in college?" He asks, and I only nod at him, not sure where he's going with this. "Well, I sort of dedicated a whole section of the gallery to those portraits."

I freeze in my spot upon hearing what Jose just said, and my initial reaction is to be pissed; crazy pissed. However, a picture of my husband's furious face flashes through my brain, and I can't help but smile at Jose.

For someone that everyone calls innocent and naïve, I guess I have a vindictive bitch hiding somewhere inside.

"Show me." I say, making Jose look at me with surprised eyes.

"You're not upset?" Jose asks, his voice laced with shock.

"No, I'm not." I say, and I'm internally surprised that I'm actually not. "But in case anyone asks, you requested my permission and I gave it to you. For legal purposes, I mean."

"Huh?" Jose asks, genuinely confused by what I said, then I see his eyes shine with understanding. "Ooh. Ok. Yes, thank you!" He says before he grabs my arm and literally drags me though the door.

He first takes me to the section of landscapes, and I'm stunned by what I see. I always knew that Jose was a talented photographer, but seeing his work displayed before me like this makes me appreciate his artistic eyes in a whole new level.

For the next 30 minutes, he shows me around the gallery, and he flat out tells me that he's leaving the section where my portraits are displayed for last. His gallery is made up of 5 main sections: landscapes, architectural, fine art, macro, and portrait. I can identify some of the pictures displayed, but having known Jose for all this time, I can see the difference between his work during his early years and the most recent one.

As we approach the portraits' section, I notice that people are looking at me and whispering, but I don't pay them much attention. I've gotten used to that treatment since I've gotten married, however, I didn't expect to receive that here in Portland.

"Here we are." Jose says before he leads me to where my pictures are hung. A loud gasp leaves my lungs at the first picture I see, and I feel tears sting my eyes as I remember that day clearly. It was on our second year in college, and I was wearing a sweater and hiding half of my face with it and with my sleeves. What catches my attention is the amount of happiness that is evident in my eyes, and I have to take a deep breath to stop myself from crying, simply because I miss that old me.

I notice a young girl dressed in a uniform approach Jose, and while he's talking to her, I start to move around, seeing my face staring back at me from different spots on the walls. There are pictures of me looking right into the camera, while there are others that Jose had obviously taken when I didn't notice. There are pictures of me laughing and others of me in tears. There are ones of me fooling around and others of me seriously engrossed in a book. However, regardless of the position or emotion that Jose has managed to capture, I can tell one difference between the Ana in the pictures and the Ana looking at them.

That Ana was a relaxed Ana. She was carefree. She had a free spirit.

She was happy.

Right now, I'm none of that. I don't feel an ounce of the emotions I remember feeling back in those days, and as that realization downs on me, I feel like the wind has been sucked out of me.

 _He_ did that to me.

 _He_ snuffed out my light.

 _He_ ruined me.

"Are you ok?" I hear a voice ask from beside me, and I take another deep breath so I don't break down in front of a complete stranger.

"Yeah." I answer without looking at the origin of the voice. "I'm just surprised by the overwhelming amount of emotions in those pictures."

"He's very talented." The stranger says, but I still don't dare to look at him. "To be able to shock the muse with her own pictures is something."

Hearing that, I turn around to face the man standing beside me, and for the second time in less than 5 minutes, I feel the wind sucked out of me. Besides me stands the most beautiful creature of a man I have ever seen. He's so handsome I couldn't find words to explain it, and I'm a person who deals with words in her everyday life.

"Yes." I say after I have to force my brain to remember how to order my mouth to speak. "Jose is very talented."

"Ana, there you are." I hear Jose call at me, and right at that second, I wish I could kill him for interrupting my conversation with this beautiful stranger. "You won't believe what just happened!"

"What?" I ask, but somehow, I can't bring myself to look away from the stranger besides me.

"Someone just bought all pictures of you." Jose says.

That makes me look away from the beautiful stranger, and I stare at Jose with panic in my eyes.

 _Please don't let it be my husband. Please don't let it be my husband. Please don't let it be my husband._

"It's not _him._ " Jose says with a roll of his eyes, somehow having read my mind. "You might actually know the guy who bought them. He's in the business world in Seattle."

"You know I don't mix with that society, Jose." I say in a quiet tone, not wanting to think about my life back home at the moment. "I barely know the people he works with."

"Anyway, I've heard a lot about this guy who bought the pictures. They say he's ruthless but very good hearted and charitable." Jose says with a beaming smile. "Kate has been trying to get an interview with him for the longest time, and she promised me that once she could, she'll hire me to do the photo-shoot."

"That wouldn't be a Ms. Katherine Kavanaugh, would it?" the stranger who is still standing beside me asks, making both Jose and I turn to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"Actually, that's her." Jose says carefully, eyeing the stranger with careful eyes. "How exactly do you know that?"

"It's kind of refreshing to go somewhere without being recognized everywhere." The stranger says, more to himself than us, before he offers his hand to Jose. "Christian Grey." He then says by means of introduction, making both Jose's and my eyes grow with surprise.

"Mr. Grey!" Jose says as he shakes his hand with so much enthusiasm that I fear he might pull his arm out. "It's an honor to meet you in person. I've heard so much about you."

"So have I." Christian says, his eyes quickly glancing at the portrait of me laughing. "And I can tell that everything I've heard is true. You are quite talented, Mr. Rodriguez."

"Thank you!" Jose says before he turns to look at me.

I'm still surprised that this is _the_ Christian Grey I've heard about from my husband. Apparently, my husband hates his guts, because he's managed to take every deal he's been working on from right under his nose. Whenever he spoke about him, he made him seem to be the devil incarnate, but the person I see in front of me looks nothing like the devil.

"This is Anastasia…" Jose begins, but Mr. Grey quickly cuts him off before he turns to look at me with a charming smile on his face.

"Anastasia Hyde." Mr. Grey says before he offers me his extended hand, and even though I'm shocked beyond belief that he knows who I am, I still reach out to shake his hand, and the second our skin touches, I feel a spark go through my body. "Yes, I've heard a lot about you, Mrs. Hyde. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Likewise, Mr. Grey." I say with a level of confidence I don't feel. _What the hell could he have heard about me?_ "Jack has mentioned your name a few times."

"I'm sure he has." Mr. Grey says with a small smile.

"Mr. Grey is the one who just bought all the pictures, Ana." Jose says, making me look at him with wide eyes, then look at Mr. Grey, before looking back at Jose.

"What?" I finally manage to ask. "I'm not sure that's such a great idea."

"Both you and I know that Jack will not be doing any buying tonight, and I'd prefer if such personal photos of you stayed in a storage rather than be bought by different sick perverts who would just spend their time ogling you in the privacy of their homes."

"Are you saying that you will just put them in a storage?"

"If that is what you want, then I will definitely do that." Mr. Grey says with a smile so sincere I can literally feel in my heart, and I simply nod at him.

"They're your property now." I say with a shrug. "I guess you can do with them as you wish."

"I'm sure you wouldn't want that." He says with a panty-dropping smile, and I feel my breath catch in my throat.

"Ana, I need to go back out there. Are you staying tonight here?" I hear Jose ask, but for one reason or another, I can't keep my eyes away from Christian's.

 _How did he suddenly become Christian and not Mr. Grey?_

"Yes. I'm supposed to have a room booked at the Heathman." I say, and I suddenly feel my teeth sinking into my bottom lips. I notice Christian's eyes darkening at that one simple move, making the corners of my mouth lift up in a small smile.

"Would you like to stay here until everything is over? We can go for a few drinks afterwards." Jose says, and I notice him exchanging amused looks between Christian and myself.

"How about Anastasia and I go ahead to the bar around the corner, and you can join us after you finish here?" Christian asks, making me raise an eyebrow at him. "Or would you like for us to go grab something to eat?"

"Drinks sound great." I say, not even feeling the least bit guilty about the obvious sparks flying around us. "Are you good with that, Jose?"

"Umm… sure." Jose says with a smile. "Just text me if you decide to go back to the hotel before I join."

"Sure." I say, not even looking at Jose as he walks away from us. I think I hear him mutter something under his breath, but I can't be exactly sure what it was.

"Shall we?" Christian asks as he places his hand over the small of my back, and even with the many layers of clothing separating his skin from mine, I feel shivers go down my spine. I notice him motioning towards someone standing at the entrance with his head, and that man, who obviously is some sort of a bodyguard, follows us behind.

"Taylor, Mrs. Hyde and I will be going to the bar around the corner." Christian tells the man with a buzz cut. "Let Stephen know that we'll be spending the night here so he doesn't expect Charlie Tango back."

"Yes, Sir." The man, Taylor, says as he pulls out his cellphone and calls who I assume must be Stephen.

"Who's Charlie Tango?" I ask in an attempt to make a conversation as we walk to the bar, and I notice that Taylor is following us close by.

"My helicopter." Christian says as he shoves his hands in his pants pockets. I take a quick glance at him, and I have to swallow at how handsome he looks. He's wearing a pair of faded blue jeans with a black shirt and a black blazer, but somehow, with that very simple outfit, he looks better than any man I've ever seen in my life.

"You have a helicopter?" I ask, earning a quiet nod from him. "Who flies it?"

"I do." He says with a shrug, as if that was the simplest answer out there, making me freeze in my spot.

"Just like that?" I ask, making him give out a small chuckle.

"Yes, just like that." He says with another shrug. I take another deep breath because the attraction I'm feeling for him is building up so quickly it's threatening to suffocate me.

 _Maybe this was not a good idea after all._

 _Jack has been cheating on you for the past 10 months. A few drinks with this man are not going to make things worse than they already are._

I roll my eyes at the internal voices battling in my head, but before I can make a decision for my own, we reach the bar and it's too late for me to back out.

 _Keep telling yourself that, sweetie._

"Why don't you find us a table while I get us something to drink?" He asks, making me nod at him, not totally trusting my voice at the moment. "What would you like to drink?"

"Beer." I say, my voice coming out in an almost inaudible whisper, earning a raised eyebrow from him before he chuckles and heads towards the bar. As soon as I'm sure that he's far enough from the table, I pull out my phone from my purse and fire up a quick text to Kate.

 _A: having drinks with Christian Grey!_

Given that it's a Friday night, I don't expect a response, knowing that Kate will probably be out finding her prey for the weekend. However, as soon as I place my phone back on the table, it chimes up, and I can't help but roll my eyes when I see her text.

 _K: OMFG! Put in a good word for me! I need that appointment ASAP!_

Before I can even respond to that, the phone chimes again, and this time, I giggle.

 _K: Wait a second. Why are you having drinks with CG?_

 _A: Long story. Next time, warn a sister, will you? Super hot!_

 _K: That's putting it mildly. That man is like a Greek God!_

 _A: I know!_

 _K: Where are you? Aren't you supposed to be at Jose's gallery? Btw, tell him I said sorry for not coming, please._

 _A: I am at the gallery. Well, technically speaking I'm at a bar now, but we met at the gallery. He knows Jack._

 _K: So he knows who you are…_

 _A: Yes…_

 _K: And?_

 _A: I don't know. I don't trust myself and how I'm feeling, Kate._

 _K: What are you feeling?_

 _A: I don't know, but I know I haven't felt this way in a long time._

 _K: You're asking the wrong person to steer you away from temptation, love._

 _A: Kate!_

 _K: Ana! Jack has been breaking your heart for months. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you're still with him. But that's not the point now. You're having drinks with a very hot guy. Enjoy it and whatever might come out of it._

I see Christian approach the table with our drinks, so I fire off one last text to Kate.

 _A: Talk to you later._

 _K: Ok! Wrap it before you tap it, and put in a good word for me!_

I can't help but let out a small giggle at Kate's last text, making Christian look at me with a raised eyebrow as he places the beer in front of me.

"Sorry, just texting a friend." I say as I watch him gracefully take a seat in front of me. I notice Taylor standing at the door of the bar with his eyes fixed on us, and it makes me wonder why Jack doesn't have a bodyguard like Christian does.

"Does he follow you everywhere you go?" I ask as I take a sip of my beer.

"Who? Taylor?" Christian asks, making me nod at him. "Yes, he does. I've had a few threats made on my life after I reached a certain level of wealth, and my family insisted on me hiring a security team."

"I see."

"Doesn't Jack have a security team?" Christian asks, and I can tell that he's genuinely curious.

"Not that I know of." I say, making his eyebrows reach his hairline. "Can we not talk about Jack tonight?"

"Of course." Christian quickly says and takes a sip of his own drink, which I think is a scotch neat. "Tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?" I ask, silently wondering why he wants to know me.

"What do you do for a living? Where did you go to university? Your family. Those kinds of things." He says with a smile, and even though I feel like I should just end this conversation right here and now, I find myself telling him about myself.

I tell him about how my parents died when I was 17. I tell him about my years in university. I tell him about my friendship with Kate. I tell him everything there is to know about me, except my relationship with Jack, because I know that if I go _there_ , I'm going to tell him how I know that my husband is cheating on me, and how I'm too pathetic to leave him.

He then tells me about himself. How he was adopted at the young age of 4 because his biological parents died in a plane crash. How the Greys gave him the life he never thought he could have, having come from a relatively humble background before his adoption. How he dropped out of Harvard because he wanted to start up his business. How his adoptive parents supported him every step of the way.

Before both of us know it, the last-call bell rings at the bar, and I realize that Jose never joined us. I reach for my phone and I find a text from Jose, and I can't help but roll my eyes at it.

 _J: Going to party with a few friends. I would ask if you wanted to join, but I'm sure you're having more fun where you are. Breakfast tomorrow?_

"Jose decided to go to a party with his friends." I tell Christian as we make our way out of the bar. "Can you walk me back to my car, please? It's rather late and I'd prefer not to walk there alone."

"You had a few drinks and you shouldn't be driving." He says, making me roll my eyes again. "I'm staying at the Heathman as well. I'll take you back to your car tomorrow morning, or I can fly you to Seattle with me."

I feel my heart skip a beat at the possibility of sharing a helicopter ride piloted by this Adonis of a man beside me, but I quickly push that feeling back, knowing that my interaction with him should not go beyond tonight.

 _Or maybe tomorrow morning, until he drops me off at my car._

"I guess, yeah." I say hesitantly, but before I can give in to the doubt in my head, I feel him steer me towards an Audi SUV, where Taylor is already standing and holding the backseat door open for us.

It only takes us 5 minutes to get to the Heathman, but they felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life. The charge in the air between us was palpable, and at one moment, I felt like I need to crack the window open so I could breathe properly.

We make our way to the reception desk together, and I can already see how welcoming everyone is being towards Christian.

 _You of all people should know that money talks._

I roll my eyes at that bitchy voice inside my head again as I make my way to one of the girls working the reception desk, while Christian talks to another.

"Welcome to the Heathman, how may I help you, ma'am?"

"Hi. There is a reservation under Anastasia Hyde for one night." I tell the girl who smiles warmly at me as she types away on her computer.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but nothing is showing here under that name." She says while looking at me with apologetic eyes, making my heart drop to my stomach.

"What about Jack Hyde?" I ask, already reaching for my phone to call my asshole husband while they girl types away again.

"Sorry, ma'am." She says again, and I feel like I want to punch her in the throat if she calls me ma'am once more.

"Ok. Give me a second please." I say and dial Jack's number, but I already know that he won't pick up.

 _He's with her, of course he won't pick up._

"I'm sure that my husband's assistant must've made a mistake." I say as I forcefully tuck my phone back into my purse. "Can you give me a room for the night? A single room would be ok."

"One moment please, ma'am." She says, making me groan loudly at her. I turn to look at Christian and I find him watching me with worried eyes. As soon as he gets his keycard from the receptionist, he walks towards me.

"Is everything ok?"

"Somehow, I don't have a reservation for tonight." I say through grit teeth, but to be totally honest with myself, I don't know what I'm more angry about: the fact that I don't have a reservation, or the embarrassment of the situation in front of Christian.

"I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but we are fully booked for tonight." The receptionist says, making me close my eyes and take in a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh.

"Not even one single room?"

"I'm sorry."

"Fine." I huff and walk away from the front desk, but I only take a few steps before Christian calls my name.

"Where are you going?" He asks when I turn around to face him.

"I need to go back to my car. I'll find another hotel, or I'll go spend the night at Jose's." I say, and I suddenly feel tears fill my eyes and threaten to fall.

"I have the penthouse suite. There's plenty of room for you, Taylor, and I there." Christian says, and I actually have to go over what he said in my head to make sure I understood him correctly.

"What?"

 _Obviously, my brain needs more time to register what he said._

"The suite has four bedroom, that's a one room for each of us and a spare one to add." Christian says and takes a deep breath of his own. "Listen, at the risk of sounding completely out of line here, and please feel free to slap me if you want to, I think you're one of the most attractive and most beautiful women I've ever seen. However, you're married to the one person I compete against in my life, and you will be the only thing of his that I will never attempt to take away. Not out of respect or loyalty to him or to some bro-code that men go by, but because I respect you, and I will never put you in such a position."

"Wow." I manage to say after a long minute of silence, and I actually feel my knees go a little weak after hearing his short speech.

"So, what do you say?" Christian asks, and I realize that my voice might actually betray me if I attempt to speak, so I just nod at him, and then follow him as he makes his way to the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors close, that same charge that was in the car returns, and I close my eyes and silently count to a 100, because I know that if I look at him, I'm going to do something I'll end up regretting.

It doesn't take us long before we reach our floor, and I follow Christian in complete silence out of the elevator, but not before letting out a small sigh as I stepped out. Inside the suite, Christian shows me around quickly and then to my room, but I still don't say a word. I don't want to seem like an ungrateful bitch, but I honestly cannot trust myself with what I might say or do.

 _I'm not like Jack._

"If you need anything, I'll be in the room over there." Christian says and points towards one of the many doors in the suite.

"Ok." I finally manage to say, making him nod at me before he heads to the door. "Wait." I call out, making him pause and turn to face me. "I'm sorry if I seem like an ungrateful bitch, it's just that…"

"It's ok." Christian cuts me off with a warm smile on his face. "I totally understand being upset about this. I would be too."

 _Yeah, I'm sure you would be upset if your wife was too busy with her boyfriend to do what she promised you to do._

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Christian says before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

Taking a deep breath, I look around the room, and that's when I realize that I left my overnight bag in my car. I let out a string of curses under my breath as I reach for the phone and call for the front desk. Luckily, they're very accommodating of my request for a few personal hygiene items and sleepwear from the hotel's shop, but I'm guessing that has more to do with the fact that the request is coming from Christian Grey's room, not anyone else's.

I specifically ask them to send the bill with the order and not to charge it to the room, but the girl on the other end of the line tells me that Christian has given strict instructions that anything ordered should be charged to the room, making me cancel the entire order.

 _I guess I'll just sleep naked tonight._

I decide to take a shower, and I finally leave after spending close to an hour under the steaming water, and after having cried out my frustration. I'm angry at myself for still allowing him to get to me, because I know he doesn't care anymore.

Once I'm all dried up, I wrap the complementary robe around my body and crack open the door. When I'm sure that neither Christian nor Taylor are around, I make my way to the wet bar I noticed when Christian gave me the tour. I desperately need a drink, and quite frankly, I wouldn't mind if I got shit-faced right about now.

The first thing I see is a bottle of vodka, and I pour myself a double, neat, and then take a large gulp, enjoying the burning sensation as it goes down my throat. That's when the baby piano in the corner catches my eyes, and my face splits in a huge smile. I silently wonder how I didn't see it before, but I guess my mind was otherwise preoccupied.

I give out a silent prayer that Christian and Taylor are heavy sleepers as I remove the lid and sit behind the black and white keys. My parent made sure that I took lessons when I was growing up, but I haven't touched a piano since they died. Jack even said he would buy me one when he found out I could play, but I flat out refused.

I scowl at the idea of Jack, and I wonder what is making me take this step after all these years. As my fingers touch the keys, a flash of a though flashes through my head, but I quickly shake it away.

 _It cannot be Christian's influence._

My hands seem to have a mind of their own as they start playing the first notes of Bach's Transcriptions. Somehow, that one merges into Moonlight Sonata, then into Chopin's Prelude. I don't realize that I'm crying until I see a handkerchief held in front of my face, and I gasp when I find that Christian is standing next to me with a sad smile on his face.

"You play beautifully." He says as I quickly wipe away my tears. "It's a shame that you're playing such sad music."

"I'm not in a happy mood at the moment." I say as I take a deep breath. "I'm really sorry if I woke you up. I just couldn't resist."

"I wasn't sleeping." He says and sits beside me before he gently runs his fingers over the piano keys. "How long have you been playing?"

"I haven't played in years." I admit with a sigh. "I took lessons when I was younger, but I stopped playing after my parents passed away."

"What made you play now?" He asks that million dollars question, and I just shrug in response. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure you have better things to do than to hear me out." I say with yet another sigh, earning a silent head shake from Christian. "My husband has been cheating on me for the past 10 months and I'm too coward to leave him."

I see Christian's fingers freeze over the piano keys, but I dare not look at him. I don't want to see the sympathy in his eyes, nor do I want to see the look of judgment in them either.

"How did you find out?" He asks before he starts playing a sad tune I cannot identify.

"I had my suspicions for a while, but then I saw them together having lunch." I say and wipe away another tear that managed to escape my eyes. "He was kissing her in the middle of the restaurant in broad daylight."

"I see." He says, but doesn't say anything else as he continues to play. I reach for my glass again and sip on my drink as I enjoy Christian's performance, and that's when I realize that he's only wearing a pair of black sleeping pants, with no top. I can't control my eyes as they wander over his perfect chest, and I feel my body react in ways that it shouldn't.

"I dated a woman for 3 years. We were planning to get married and share our lives together." Christian suddenly speaks, making me look at his face instead of his chest. "I had the perfect proposal planned, but I was away on a business trip, and I just couldn't wait to make that happen. So I flew back a day early, to surprise her." He says and takes a deep breath. "Only, I was the one who go the surprise of his life. I found her in our bed with my best friend."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that." I say, honestly knowing how that must've felt. However, I never caught Jack and what's-her-name together in bed.

"I'm sorry you have to go through that every day." He says and continues to play, making me fall silent beside him as I sip on my drink. It takes him about 10 minutes before he stops playing and lets out a long breath that I didn't know he was holding, then he turns to look at me with that same sad look in his eyes.

"You play beautifully as well." I say as I look away from him, not able to tolerate the sadness in his beautiful grey orbs.

"Thank you." He says, and I feel his hands touch my face, forcing me to look back at him. "Why won't you leave him?"

"Because I'm a coward." I say without missing a beat as I feel myself drown in his eyes.

"You can't be. You've survived a lot in life, you can survive this."

"I'm terrified of being alone."

"You'll never be alone." He says, and the conviction in his tone almost makes me believe him. "You have your friends who I'm sure they'll never leave you in your time of need."

"He was my first everything." I admit, and again, I feel the tears gather behind my eyelids. "I know I should walk away, but I've become so dependent on him that I wouldn't know which way is up anymore."

"He's an asshole who doesn't deserve you."

"But he's the one who has me."

"He's a very fortunate and lucky asshole who should thank his lucky stars for having you."

"Stop it." I sigh and look away from him again, because the intensity in his eyes is threatening to suffocate me.

"I'm only speaking the truth, Ana." He says as I feel the back of his hand rub against my cheek. Without even knowing what I'm doing, I feel myself lean towards his hand, and I feel shivers go up my spine at that simple touch. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, both inside and out, and he's cheating on you. If you were mine, I'd worship the ground you walked on. I'd make all your dreams come true. I'll never spend a night away from you."

"Please, stop it." I whisper, my voice betraying me. I know I need to get away from him, that I need to go back to my room, but my body betrays me too and stays put. I haven't felt this way towards anyone in months, and somewhere deep in my heart, I know that the way my body is reacting to Christian's simple touch does not even compare to how I've reacted to Jack back when we first started dating.

Somehow, my body wants to take a bite of that forbidden fruit, and my mind seems to be in agreement, because I can't hear any voices screaming at me to move away.

"Look at me." Christian says, and before I can even attempt to stop myself from doing so, I feel my eyes connect with his again, and I gasp at the sheer amount of intensity I see in them. "I know you're a married woman, and I know I shouldn't be doing this, but by God, if I don't kiss you right now, it'll be my biggest regret."

I gasp again and feel myself nodding at him, making him grab the back of my neck and smash my lips against his. The second our lips touch, I feel myself lose all my resolve and doubt about doing this. I need this.

I need _him_.

That's why I kiss him back with everything I have, and that's why I allow him to kiss me with more passion than I've ever felt in my life. That's why I don't stop him when I feel his hand reach for the sash of my robe. That's why I allow him to lift me up easily and carry me to his bedroom, and as he kicks the door shut with his foot, I know that this is going to be the night my life is going to change forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Oh my God. Words cannot even begin to describe how happy and overwhelmed I am by all your reviews and your reactions to the story! WOW! Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!**

 **Please remember that this is a short story. There is only one more chapter left after this one. I'm only focusing on Ana and Christian here, so I won't be going into deeper details about other characters. Also, please remember that I've marked this story OOC, meaning, Christian is not the only one who is out of character** **Everyone has been giving guesses about Jack and what he'll do, but please, keep in mind that I try to steer clear from the canon characters as much as I can.**

 **Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **Ana POV**

 **3 months later**

I can't stop smiling as I drive to Christian's place. We've been together since that night in his hotel room 3 months ago, and I can honestly say I've never been happier. Well, except for the fact that I have to sneak away to see him and the fact that we have to hide our relationship from the world.

After all, I'm still a married woman who's cheating on her husband with his business rival. However, in all these 3 months, I've never felt one ounce of guilt about my affair with Christian. I know for a fact that Jack is still seeing his mistress, proven by the fact that he just left on a business trip for 3 days but he didn't take his laptop with him.

He never goes anywhere without his laptop.

I snort at my husband's now reckless behavior. It's like he wants me to find out that he's having an affair. I don't understand why he's been acting that way lately, but I couldn't care less.

I park my Benz next to his Spyder and quickly make my way to the elevator. I insert the code that takes me up to his penthouse and I can't help but smile at the giddy feeling I get in my stomach whenever I'm about to see Christian.

The second I step foot in the huge apartment, I'm pushed against the wall by my huge boyfriend and his lips are on mine before I can say a word.

"Mrs. Jones?" I manage to ask once I pull back to take a breath, but his lips quickly attach to my neck.

"At her sister's." Christian says between kisses as he starts to hike up my skirt.

"Taylor? Sawyer?" I gasp as he bunches it around my waist.

"Security room. Cameras are off." He quickly says before he drops to his knees and starts kissing up my legs. "Oh, fuck!" He gasps once he realizes that I don't have anything under my skirt, and what starts off as a giggle soon turns into a moan as he buries his face between my legs.

It doesn't take him long before he has me screaming out his name as my body shakes with one of the amazing orgasms that only he has ever managed to give me. Before I can even catch my breath, I feel him lift me up in his arms, and even though my face is buried in his chest, I know he's walking in the direction of his bedroom. Less than a minute later, I hear the sound of the door closing before Christian places me gently on his bed. I'm still trying to get my breathing under control, which proves to be a futile effort, because as soon as Christian takes a step back and starts removing his shirt slowly, I feel the breath hitch in my throat again.

For the millionth time since I met him, I can't help but think about how beautiful and handsome he is. His muscles are so ripped and defined you would think a sculpture carved them with his hands. The way his arms move as he takes off his shirt makes my core clench with desire, and I can feel the evidence of my arousal ruin the sheets below me.

"Open your legs for me. I want to see you." Christian command with that dominating tone of voice, and I find myself doing just that. "Touch yourself." He commands again, and even though I can feel my face burn, my fingers still find their way to my drenched sex and I slowly start rubbing that small bundle of nerves.

"Stop!" Christian says after a few long seconds, his voice reverberating through the room and through my body. My eyes stay fixed on him as he removes his pants, then his boxers, and even though I've seen him naked more times than I can count, I still feel my eyes go wide at his size.

He takes a few slow steps towards me before he crawls over the bed and covers my body with his, resting his weight over his arms as his elbows are on either side of my head. His eyes bore into mine, and I feel like he's trying to tell me something, but he's not letting the words out.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the emotions I see in his eyes, I kiss him, forcing both him and myself to close our eyes as we lose ourselves in the kiss. I feel him shift his weight as he moves one of his hands to rest over my left breast, and he starts to rub me over the thin fabric of my shirt.

Once the need to breathe takes over, he pulls away from my lips then starts kissing down my throat, making me throw my head back and let out a loud moan at the sensation. My fingers go straight to his hair as I wrap my legs around his naked waist, and I push him towards me, wanting to feel him closer.

He helps me out of my shirt and bra, and soon, we're both naked on the bed, making out like a couple of teenagers. His hands are everywhere, and so are mine. I grab his hard shaft and start stroking him slowly, making him let out a guttural moan against my breast, where he is sucking on my right nipple. I moan in turn when he gives me a gently bite, and my moan becomes louder as I feel his fingers move towards my heated core.

"I need you." I breath against his neck as I suck on that spot behind his ear, the one that drives him crazy. "Please Christian."

"Where do you need me?" Christian asks, and I can feel his smile against my skin.

He loves it when I talk dirty to him, and I'm not one to deny his wishes.

"I want you inside me." I whisper as I increase my strokes on his hard dick. "I want you to fuck me so hard I won't be able to walk straight. I want to feel you in me. I want to feel your cum dripping from my pussy. I want you all over me."

"Fuck, baby." Christian swears as his fingers sink inside me. He pumps me a few times before he removes his hand and offers me his wet fingers, and without any hesitation, I wrap my lips around them and suck, enjoying the taste of my arousal on him.

With my lips still around his fingers, he positions himself at my entrance and slowly begins to push his way in. He knows that I need a few seconds to adjust to his huge size, because no matter how many times we've made love, it's still a little bit painful when he first enters me.

He's the biggest I've ever had, not that I've had many, but damn if he's not the best either.

"Baby, I need to move." Christian says as he kisses my neck, making me only nod at him. I feel him pull back from me before he sinks back in all the way to the base, and I can feel his balls against my ass as he swirls his hips a bit. A loud moan leaves my lips as he hits the right spot inside, and I can't help but move my own hips against his.

When we're like this, in each other's arms, the world outside seizes to exist, and I couldn't care less if it blew up to pieces right now. The only thing that matters to me that I'm being loved by him, that I'm being worshipped by him. The only thing that matters is Christian.

I can tell that he's approaching his orgasm by the way his shoulders tense and the way his thrusts are losing rhythm, and that sensation alone brings me closer to mine.

"Harder!" I moan, and that's exactly what I get as Christian pulls all the way out of me before he slams back forcefully, making my entire body move back against the bed. "Again!"

And he gives me what I ask for, continuing to fuck me as if there was no tomorrow. It only takes him a few more thrusts before I'm screaming his name in ecstasy, and it's like my orgasm triggers his, because seconds later, my name falls from his lips in a moan as I feel him coating my insides with his cum.

Christian rests his forehead against my shoulder while I wrap my arms around him, as we both try to catch our breaths.

"Hi." He says as he holds his head up to look at me with a serene smile on his face.

"Hi." I manage to say once my breathing gets back to normal. "What a nice welcome."

"You should receive this kind of treatment every day, multiple times a day." Christian says as he wraps his own arms around me and moves so that I'm lying on his chest.

"We've talked about this, Christian." I say with a sigh, and I can feel his body tense at my words.

"Yes, we have, and you still haven't given me an answer." He says and sits up, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I can't give you an answer, Christian. I've told you this a million times." I say, and this time he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he lets it out slowly.

"How long can you stay this time?" He asks, but the amount of venom in his voice makes me want to leave right now.

"He's out of town for a few days." I say as I sit up as well. I watch him as he gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweat pants, making me get out of bed as well and put my clothes back on. I follow Christian to the kitchen where he has a bottle of wine chilling next to a plate of cheese and fruits, and I watch him as he opens the bottle with so much grace it would ruin my panties had I been wearing any.

"How has your week been?" He asks after he gives me my glass of wine.

"I finished my book!" I say with so much excitement that his face breaks out in a huge grin.

"That's amazing baby!" He says and walks around the kitchen table to place a strong kiss on my lips then on my forehead. "When will you start contacting publishers?"

"About that…" I start and take a large sip of wine for liquid courage.

"What about it?" Christian asks, and the poker face he manages to put on in that split second tells me that I'm talking to the CEO right now, not to my loving boyfriend.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to do that now."

"Why not?"

"This is my first attempt at writing, Christian. I'm sure it's full of mistakes and no one in their right mind would sing me on to publish it."

"You wouldn't know if you don't ask."

"Jack said…"

"Don't mention his fucking name in front of me!" Christian snaps, making me flinch in surprise.

 _Ok! Where did that come from?_

"Well, _he_ said that I should work harder on my next book and then maybe that could get published." I say with a roll of my eyes.

"He's read it?" Christian asks, and I can hear the hint of hurt in his voice.

"You know he has access to my laptop. I found him reading it a couple of weeks ago. It's not like I willingly gave it to him." I say with a sigh.

Christian has been begging me to let him read what I've spent the last year writing, but I always refused. Besides, he knows that Jack has access to all my devices and accounts, that's why he got me a burner phone and he started up a new email account for me on the GEH server that no one could ever find.

"Can I read it now?" He asks, and even though I'm hesitant to do so, I know that if I refuse he's going to be hurt that Jack got to read it and he didn't. I really don't think Christian cares that Jack read it without my approval, but his jealousy of Jack knows no boundaries, and I really don't want to add fuel to the fire.

"I'll send it to you later today." I say, only receiving a nod in response.

"I have a phone meeting in 10 minutes. It shouldn't take long so feel free to do whatever you want until I finish." Christian says as he downs the rest of his wine and heads towards his office, leaving me confused about his sudden cold behavior.

As soon as I finish my wine, I make my way to Christian's huge library. It's where I spend my time alone whenever he's busy, and every time I come in here, I lose track of time between the books. I've always had a passion for books, and before I applied for the job at Jack's company, I had hoped to work in publishing, but then I got the job with Jack, and the rest as they say is history.

I reach for the laptop that Christian has gotten me weeks after we started seeing each other, and I log into my GEH email. It only has email exchanges between Christian and myself, and I smile as my eyes catch the last email conversation we had. It was just harmless banter between two people that reminded me of what I always thought a high-school romance would be like. I then log into my personal email where I keep a copy of my book, and I download it on the laptop before attaching it to an email addressed to Christian. I hover the cursor over the send button for a few long seconds, before I finally press on it with a loud _fuck it_ resounding in my head.

I turn of the laptop and move to one of the many bookshelves in the library, and as I reach for the book I started last time I was here, I realize that my mind is going a million miles a minute and that I can't really concentrate on the words in front of me. For the past couple of weeks, Christian has been nagging at me to leave Jack, that he wants a set date on when I will pack my things and leave, and for the life of me, I can't give him an answer.

I really don't know what I'm afraid of anymore. For the past three months, Christian has shown me that I won't be alone when, not if, I leave Jack. He's said it on more than one occasion, that he'll never leave me, that he's in it for the long haul, but what I'm afraid of is that he might have fallen for me just like I have fallen for him.

We never said the words, but somehow, I think we both agreed that we won't let get emotions involved between us. That it'll be too messy if that happened. However, a month into our affair, I realized that I have fallen head over heels for him, and that what I had felt for Jack when we first met pales in comparison to what I feel towards Christian.

And still, I was such a coward that I didn't tell him. But now, judging by the way he's been acting lately, I'm afraid he's starting to feel the same. He's become more possessive, more jealous. I can handle my own emotions, by simply hiding them and acting like they don't exist. What I can't handle is Christian's. Yes, I do love Christian, but am I ready to leave Jack for him? I don't know. I don't have the answer to that question. Would it be fair to Christian if I _did_ leave Jack for him? Wouldn't he then be a rebound guy?

My mind is going on overdrive with all these unanswered questions; questions that I'm not ready to seek answers for at the moment. Yet, the thought of being without Christian threatens to suffocate me.

"I'm sorry I took a long time." Christian's voice breaks me away from my thoughts, and I look up to find him standing by the door, leaning his right shoulder on the door-frame and crossing his arms across his chest.

 _He's seriously the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life._

"I didn't notice the time." I honestly say, earning a soft smile from him. One that always manages to make me go weak in the knees.

"I lost track of time as well." He says as he takes slow steps towards me. "I saw your email."

"Oh." I say once I grasp what he's talking about.

"I got sucked in and I didn't realize that I've spent over an hour reading." He says before he sits beside me on the couch and reaches for my now shaking hand. "I finished the first two chapters."

"Ok." I say, avoiding to look at him because I don't want to see the disappointment in them.

"Do you want to know what I think?" He asks, but before I can answer him with a loud _no_ , he continues to talk. "I think that was one of the best things I've read in a very long time. And believe me, I'm not saying this because you're the one who wrote it. Those two chapters were amazing, and if you weren't here right now, I'd probably stay up all night to finish the book."

"Really?" I ask, too afraid to believe him.

"Yes, really." He says as he pulls my hand up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles. "I seriously think you should look into publishing. It's not fair for your amazing talent to stay hidden."

"I'm not sure Jack will be supportive of that." I say, and I regret the words the second they leave my mouth, because I can feel Christian's entire body tense up beside me before he drops my hand as if it were a burning coal.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He yells as he stands up and starts pacing the floor. "How the fuck can you even think about how he would feel and what he would do after everything he's done to you?"

"He's my…"

"Don't you dare fucking finish that sentence, Anastasia!" Christian says, his voice deathly calm that I'm actually scared of his reaction. He's looking at me with such angry eyes that, if looks could kill, I would be 6 feet under by now. "He shouldn't be your fucking husband. He shouldn't be your fucking anything! That asshole has been treating you like shit for over a year, and yet you stay with him. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you're still with him!"

"I…" I begin, but I don't have the words to respond to Christian at the moment.

I really don't know why I'm still with him. I just know that I'm not ready to take that step yet.

"Are you ever going to leave him?" He asks after a long minute of silence, and I just stare at him with wide eyes.

"Why are you asking me this now?"

"Because I need to know, Ana. I need to know if you're planning to ever leave him or not. I need to know, because if this is how things will continue between us forever, I'm not sure…" He begins, but he doesn't finish his sentence as he runs his fingers through his hair and then tugs at it.

"You're not sure what?" I ask, and I can hear my voice shaking.

"I'm not sure I can do this anymore." He says after another long silence, and I gasp as I feel my heart drop to my knees. "I want you to be mine, _completely_ mine. I want to wake up in your arms every morning, and I want your face to be the last thing I see before I sleep every night. I can't do this sneaking around anymore. I want to show you off to the world. I would marry you the second you sign your divorce papers, but you're not giving me a clear answer! Give me a date, and I promise to wait for you, but this uncertainty and unclarity is killing me, and I can't do this anymore!"

"Why are you doing this?" I manage to ask as I pray that the tears gathering in my eyes do not fall. "You've been nagging about this for a while now. Why? What brought this on?"

"Because I fucking love you!" Christian screams so loud that I actually flinch. "I've loved you since that first night, Anastasia. I never thought I could love after Leila, but you proved me wrong. You proved me wrong, yet you continue to break my heart every time you go back to him! Do you know how it feels to know that you sleep next to him each night? Can you even imagine how I feel every time you leave here to go back to _him_?"

"Yes, I know how it feels, Christian!" I yell back at him, knowing that yelling is better than the alternative, which would be me breaking down in tears. "I know how it feels, and you of all people should know that!"

"Then why do you keep doing this to me?" He yells back. "You're not happy with him, you're not happy with your life with him! Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"I don't know!" I finally admit in a loud yell. "I don't know why I won't leave him, but what I do know is that I'm not ready to do that yet!"

"But you are ready to end things between us." He states more than asks, and I can feel my eyes grow wide at his words. "You have a choice to make, Ana. Either him or me. What will it be?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. I'm _fucking_ serious!" He yells again. "I can't share you with him anymore. I shouldn't have to share you with anyone!"

"Then you shouldn't have gotten involved with a married woman!"

"I didn't think I would end up loving you!" He screams at me, and once again, I flinch from the intensity of his voice and tone. "I didn't think I would end up having my life revolve around you! I didn't think you'd become the most important thing in my world!"

"Don't do this, Christian. Please." I finally say after a long minute of silence, knowing that I don't have anything else to say but beg for him to reconsider. "I love you. Don't do this to us."

"You obviously don't love me enough." Christian says before he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Hearing that suddenly makes my blood boil, and I jump to my feet and take a couple of steps so that I'm standing right in front of him.

"Don't you fucking dare question my love for you! You hear me? I might have loved Jack when we first got together, but whatever it is that I felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for you." I yell as I poke my finger into his chest. "You're being so fucking selfish right now! You want me to leave him for you? Then what? What happens when you decide that you don't want me anymore? What happens when you decide that someone else deserves your love and attention? I don't have a job, Christian! I don't have any money of my own! I don't fucking have anything of my own!"

"Do you seriously think I'll do the same to you? Do you think so little of me?" He asks, and even though the amount of hurt and pain in his eyes threatens to overwhelm me, I don't back down.

"I never thought Jack would do it either, but here we are." I say and take a deep breath. "I thought Jack was the love of my life. I thought I meant everything to him. But guess what? I was wrong on all counts! He's cheating on me! _YOU_ are the love of my life, and I mean absolutely nothing to him! Don't tell me that you'll never do the same to me, because you simply don't know that."

"Yes, I know that! I fucking know that!" Christian yells at me before he takes a step back. "I know that I will never cheat on you or leave you! I'm not the scumbag that your husband is! I can't believe you're even comparing me to him!"

"I would I be enough for you when I was never enough for him?" I yell back at Christian, the tears now falling freely down my face.

"Do you even hear what you're saying?" Christian yells back. "I'm telling you that I fucking love you! I love you more than anything else in my life, and yet you say that I will cheat on you! FUCK!" He screams that last swear word and tugs on his hair again. "I could kill him right now! I swear to God I could kill him!"

I walk back to the couch while Christian continues to pace the floor and swear under his breath, fully knowing that nothing I say right now is going to change his mind. I don't understand why he won't see things from my eyes, but then again, I know that it's not fair to him for us to continue doing this.

My eyes fix on him as he tugs on his hair, and it's as if my brain is trying to memorize how he looks, I look at him, all of him. The way his hair is all over the place. The way his muscles move under his tight t-shirt. The way his eyes are burning with anger and pain.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Christian stops pacing and turns to look at me, and the amount of emotions in his eyes cannot be counted even if I tried.

"What is it going to be, Anastasia?" He asks, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath as a lone tear makes its way down my cheek. I let out a loud, painful sigh before I stand up and walk to him, and judging by the shattered look on his face, he already knows what my answer is going to be.

I hold my hand up, silently asking for permission to touch him, and when he doesn't move away from me, I run my fingertips over his face before I run them through his hair. My eyes study his face closely, wanting to remember every line, every hair, every feature. I then stand on my tip-toes and place a kiss on his lips, and I can feel the tears now streaming down my face.

"If you believe nothing else, please believe that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being." I whisper against his lips before I pull back. "But I can't do this. I'm sorry."

With that, I leave the library and quickly make my way to the living room, not wanting to stay back and see the heartbroken look on his face. I grab my purse and call for the elevator, and as I wait for it to arrive, the silence in the apartment threatens to suffocate me.

 _This is it._

 _This is where it ends._

Once I'm back in my car, I finally allow myself to break down. The pain I'm feeling in my heart right now is too much, and if I thought that seeing Jack with his mistress was painful, I now know that I was mistaken.

Because right now, I feel like it would be much less painful if my heart just stopped beating.

It takes me over an hour to get back home, when usually it would take me less than 15 minutes. As I make my way through my "home", it downs on me that I haven't felt at home in long months. It downs on my that the few times I've been to Escala, it felt more like home to me than this apartment ever did.

I realize that _home_ is not about the place, but rather about who you share it with.

When I finally make it to my bedroom, I immediately reach for the shirt I once stole from Christian, the one I always kept hiding away from Jack and the one that I always wore at night whenever Jack was away with his mistress. As I hold the shirt close to my nose and inhale the final remnants of Christian's smell on it, I break down again.

"Oh my God, what have I done?" I ask no one in particular as the weight of breaking up with Christian hits me like a ton of bricks, and I realize that I've just lost the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I've lost the one person who has truly loved me.

As I curl on my bed, clutching Christian's shirt close to my chest, I let the sobs consume me, and the last thought in my head before I drift into a tired sleep is of grey eyes filled with pain.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok folks. This is it, the end of Infidelity, and the my first completed multi-chapter story. Once more, the amount of follows, favorites, and reviews I got for yesterday's chapter blew my mind, although at one point I wasn't exactly sure if you were mad at Ana or at me for writing her that way. But like I always say, there's a method to my madness, and I hope you'll all be happy with this conclusion. Again, I would like to remind everyone that this is a short story, therefore, not many details are being included.**

 **Now, to the most important part of my AN. I want to give a huge shout out to Kelly, Heather, Carol, Alner, Kelly, Judith, and all the ladies Across the Zones. You know who you are, and I wouldn't have been able to get here without you. Ladies, you are my virtual support system, and you mean the world to me!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 **Ana POV**

 **One year later**

"Oh my God!" Kate squeals as I get my things ready. "OH MY FREAKING GOD!"

"Kate, for crying out loud!" I say with a small laugh. "Just calm the fuck down."

"How can you be so calm?" Kate asks as she helps me gather a few markers and puts them in my purse. "This is the biggest day of your life!"

"I know, but you're making me more nervous than I already am, so please, just calm the fuck down." I say as I take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "I just…" I begin, but my voice trails off, not having the right words to say.

"I know sweetie." Kate says after a second as she wraps me in a comforting hug. "I know."

And she does know. She knows that as much as I am excited about doing this, about this finally happening, I know that it's not the same without him.

Today is the official launch and signing event of the hardcopy of my first book, _Grey Eyes_ , and it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the one man who loved me more than he loved his pride.

It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Christian.

Kate played a huge part in it as well, and I'll forever be in her debt for it.

The day after I broke up with Christian a year ago, I called Kate in tears. She had known about Christian and I since day one, and she was never one to judge. At first, she was very supportive and was the best friend I had always know; and being just that, a day later, she ripped me a new one for breaking up with him.

That was when I opened up to her like I never did anyone. I poured out my heart and mind to her, and I ended up breaking down again. Once more, she was the supportive friend she has always been.

 _ **Flashback**_

" _Ana, I'm going to ask you a question, and I need you to answer me honestly." Kate said, and I nodded at her through my tears. "Do you want to leave Jack?"_

" _Yes, I do." I said without missing a heartbeat, because that was the honest to God truth. I was just too afraid to take the step._

" _Ok, then." She said with a motherly smile. "There's nothing to be afraid of, sweetie. All you have to do is pack your clothes and your essentials, and you'll move in with me before the day is over. I'll help you find a job, and until that happens, I'll hire you as my assistant. I've been looking for one for ages, and I can't think of a better person to help me out."_

 _I look at Kate with a mouth gaping open, and I know that her looking for an assistant is blatant lie. But who am I to rebut her._

" _Are you serious?" I ask, not believing my ears._

" _As a heart attack." She says with that motherly smile still plastered on her face. "Right now, I'm not going to yell at you for not having told me this sooner, and how all of this could've been avoided if you had talked to me before. Right now, I'm just going to get you the fuck out of here, and see how we can get the ball rolling on your divorce. The yelling and screaming can wait until later."_

 _ **End Flashback**_

That day, for the first time in over a year, Jack came home early from his _business trip_ , and he found me packing my things in our bedroom. I remember freezing when he walked in, feeling absolutely terrified of how his reaction would be.

When he saw my bags, he too froze in his place. He just kept looking between me and the bags for the longest time, and then he did what I never imagined he would do.

 _ **Flashback**_

" _What's going on, Anastasia?" Jack asks, his eyes never leaving my almost packed things._

" _What does it look like?" I ask before I continue packing, trying my best not to show him that's I'm literally freaking out._

" _You didn't tell me that you're planning to go on a trip." He says, making me roll my eyes as I take a deep breath._

" _I'm not going on a trip, Jack." I say as I fold my last pair of pants. "I'm moving out."_

" _Come again?" He asks as he leans on the door frame._

" _You heard me."_

" _You're moving out?"_

" _Yes, I'm moving out. I'm going to stay at Kate's for a while until I get back on my feet and get a place of my own." I say and look at him, expecting an outburst at any second, but what he does next shocks the living daylights out of me._

" _How long have you known?" He asks with a sigh._

" _How long has it been going on?" I ask back, refusing to give in to his thoughts._

" _Long enough for me to realize that I should have walked away first." Jack says and closes his eyes. "Please, Ana. Allow me to help you out, as an apology for what I've been doing. I don't have any excuses for it, nor do I have a justification. All I know is that I fell in love with her, and as much as I loved you, it doesn't even compare to how I feel for her."_

 _The irony of his words is not lost on me, and it really makes me wonder._

 _Had Jack and I never met, would I have eventually met Christian and he his mistress?_

" _I understand." I find myself say, not even feeling hurt by his words. However, I find myself feeling that pain I've been feeling since I left Christian's apartment._

" _Do you?" Jack asks, a hint of hope in his eyes._

" _I met someone too." I confess, earning a confused look from Jack, which was then replaced by a small smile. "And I realized that I feel the same way for him as you feel for your girlfriend."_

" _I think things moved too fast between us, don't you?"_

" _Maybe." I say with a shrug, knowing that no matter what, Jack would always be my first everything. That is something that cannot be easily forgotten. "Maybe we were meant to be so that we find them along the way."_

" _Maybe." He says and mirrors my shrug. "I'll contact my lawyers tomorrow to start on the divorce papers. Since we haven't signed a prenup…"_

" _I don't want anything." I cut him off, receiving wide eyes from him. "I didn't bring anything into this marriage, Jack."_

" _You would have if I had allowed you to work." Jack saus, and an ashamed look flashes across his face._

" _That might be true, but I still don't want anything." I say with a strong shake of my head. I really don't want anything to remind me of him. I might suddenly understand how he's feeling, but that doesn't erase the pain that I've felt for months._

" _But…" Jack begins, but I cut him off again._

" _Please Jack. I don't want anything." I say with a long sigh. "I might understand how you feel towards your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean that I was never hurt by what you did. I only met Christ…" I begin, but I realize that him knowing that I was sleeping with Christian Grey would be too much. "I only met Chris 3 months ago. For 10 months before that, I cried every time you went out to see her. I cursed you for every lie you told me. Knowing Chris and realizing that I love him more than I ever loved you doesn't erase the pain you've caused me for the 10 months I've known about your affair. I appreciate that you're willing to end things amicably, but once the papers are signed, I really don't want anything to remind me of you. You were my first everything, Jack. My first love, my first lover, and my first heartbreak, and that will stay with me forever."_

" _Will you really be moving in with Kate?" Jack asks after a long minute of silence. "Or will you be moving in with him?"_

" _He and I are over." I say, and I quickly wipe away the tear that escaped my eye. "You don't need to know the details, or what happened. I'd really appreciate it if you could move things quickly with the divorce."_

" _Of course." Jack says with a nod as I close my last suitcase. Without saying another word, he helps me to my car._

" _I'll give you the car back when I manage to buy one for my own, if that's ok with you." I say as I close the trunk of the car._

" _Please, keep it. Your name is already on the deed." He says as he holds my hand between his._

" _Jack, I already told you…"_

" _Then sell it and buy a new one." He cuts me off, making me roll my eyes. "One that would never remind you of me."_

" _When should I expect to hear from your lawyers?" I ask, knowing that I will need to ask Kate's dad to recommend a lawyer._

" _As soon as possible." Jack says before he places a quick kiss on my hands. "I'm really sorry, Ana."_

" _So am I, Jack." I say as I climb into my car and drive away, never looking back._

 _ **End Flashback**_

I only saw Jack two times after that; the first time was during the first divorce meeting with the lawyers, the second time was when we signed the divorce papers 3 weeks after that. Things would have ended sooner than that, but Jack flat out refused to sign the papers until I accepted what he wanted me to take.

His apartment in New York, the car that I was driving, and a bank account with half a million dollars in it.

At first, I refused, repeating that I didn't want anything that would remind me of him, but then Kate knocked some sense into me, again.

She told me that I could sell the New York apartment and buy myself one in Seattle, and that the money could let me focus on my writing. The point she raised about my writing is the one that sold me, because I knew that I was at a point that I needed to focus on me, after having lost my way for so long.

I contemplated called Christian after the divorce was finalized, but I changed my mind, even though Kate insisted that I should. When I explained myself, she realized that I was right and she supported me fully.

I really needed to focus on myself. As much as it pained me to end things with Christian, and even though the reason of our breakup was no longer valid, I knew that I needed to find out who I truly am before I ventured into a new relationship, or rekindled an old one. I needed to make sure that I could manage on my own without having to depend on anyone for support.

I love Kate and appreciate what she and her family did to me, but ever since my parents died, I've always relied on others for help. First it was Kate and her family, then it was Jack, then it was Christian. I needed to be on my own for some time.

Then something happened that has led me to where I am today. I had just come back from New York after selling the apartment there, and I was looking into finding myself a small apartment in Seattle. Nothing fancy and nothing that has any resemblance to either my old home or Escala.

I was waiting for my realtor in the coffeeshop that has become my favorite when I received _that_ phone call, and I still smile as I remember that day.

 _ **Flashback**_

 _My phone has been ringing for the past 5 minutes with a number that I don't know. I'm waiting for my realtor to arrive, and I don't want to get into a conversation that I won't be able to finish quickly._

 _However, when the ringing continues, I pick up the phone with an irritable tone._

" _Yes?" I snap into the phone, but quickly regret it when I hear the nervous voice from the other end of the line._

" _Um… Hi… Am I speaking to Mrs. Anastasia Hyde?"_

 _I can't help the roll of my eyes. Everyone knows that Jack and I already divorced; it's been all over the news and tabloids._

 _Makes me wonder why Christian hasn't contacted me yet._

" _It's Anastasia Steele." I say through grit teeth._

" _I'm sorry Mrs. Steele." The nervous girl on the other end of the line says again. "My name is Hannah Ruben from SIP, ummm… I mean Seattle Independent Publishing."_

 _That catches my attention and I sit up a bit straighter in my seat._

" _How can I help you?" I ask, a bit more politely now._

" _I'm calling on behalf Mr. Jerry Roach, one of SIP's senior editors. He's received an anonymous package that included a manuscript with your name and phone number on it, and he would like to meet with you to discuss potential publication."_

" _Excuse me?" I ask, not sure I heard her properly._

" _I'm sorry, am I breaking up? I said that I'm calling on behalf…."_

" _Yes, I got that." I say, cutting her off. "What manuscript?"_

" _I believe it was untitled but it is of a supernatural nature." She says, making me close my eyes and swear under my breath._

 _The only two people who have ever read what I wrote are Christian and Jack, and something tells me that it was not Jack who sent the manuscript._

" _I'm sorry, Ms. Ruben. I'm not the one who sent you the manuscript, and I don't believe I'm at a point in my writing where I should consider publishing." I say, counting to ten in my head and already imagining ways of how I want to kill Christian if I ever see him._

 _He fucking knew that I was not ready for that step yet!_

" _Will you hold on for a moment please?" Hannah says, and before I can give her an answer, I hear the all-too-familiar on hold music of Fur Elise. Less than 30 seconds later, I hear a gruff voice coming from the other end of the line._

" _Ms. Steele, thank you for taking my call." The man, who I can only assume is Jerry Roach himself, says. "I already apologize for whatever my assistant may or may not have said. This is her first day."_

" _Mr. Roach, as I told your assistant, I'm not at a place in my writing where I believe I'm ready for publishing." I start, but the cough I hear makes me pause._

" _With all due respect, Ms. Steele, I've been an editor for more than 20 years now, and I have never come across a first draft that requires so little changes and editing like yours. It's captivating and enthralling, and quite frankly, I couldn't put it down until I was done with it."_

" _Huh?" I manage to ask, too stupefied to ask anything else._

" _May we meet for coffee sometime today or tomorrow? I would really like to talk to you more in depth about your manuscript."_

" _Uh… Of course. Tomorrow?"_

" _Would 10 a.m. work for you?" He asks, and I only nod. Realizing that he can't see me, I clear my throat and tell him a quick yes. He tells me that I should be receiving an e-mail shortly with more information, and with that we end the phone call._

 _ **End Flashback**_

I walked out of that meeting with a contract signed, and with an agreement to do some changes to the story. Roach didn't want me changing a lot, but at the end of the day, it was my book, and it was going to get published the way I wanted it to.

I tried to get Roach to tell me who he got the manuscript from, but he kept swearing that he found it on his desk a few weeks earlier with a sticky note on top saying that I'm the one who wrote it and that he should contact me. He ignored the package at first, but then something kept nagging at him to take a look. Once he did, he was hooked.

To this day, he keeps swearing that he doesn't know who dropped it off on his desk.

I, on the other hand, am willing to bet everything I have that it was Christian. Well, maybe he had Taylor drop it off, but that's just semantics.

When I first started writing my novel, the main character was an ancient vampire Viking, who was blonde and basically a giant. After I met Christian, I changed it to have my main character resemble him more. _Alex_ , the vampire king in my novel, is now a copper-haired, grey-eyed master of his universe.

Hence the title _Grey Eyes._

"Ana, sweetie. We need to get going." Kate says, breaking me away from my trip down memory lane. "We have to be there in 30 minutes."

"I'm ready." I say, taking a deep breath, and once again wishing that Christian was here with me today.

It really wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for him.

I know I could've called him and thanked him for what he did, but when he never contacted me after the news of my divorce went public, I thought he had moved on, or at least didn't want to be involved with me anymore.

So, I kept my distance. Even when news came out that GEH had acquired SIP, turning it into Grey Publishing, I still kept my distance. I always made sure whenever Jerry called me in for a meeting that Christian would not be in the vicinity at all.

But then Grey Publishing was moved to the GEH building, and it became almost impossible to make sure that I would never run into him. So, I requested that all our meetings take place off office grounds.

"We'll be meeting Jose there." I hear Kate say, and I only nod at her, my mind too busy with thoughts of Christian to pay her any real attention. "Did you see the flowers you received this morning?"

I nod at her again, not wanting to get into the details of the note that was attached to the flowers.

They flowers were from Jack, and the note said how he was wishing me good luck and regretting not having supported me before.

It's funny how the one who didn't support me has reached out to me, and the one who did pretends like I don't exist anymore.

My mind doesn't stop thinking about Christian even as we reach the bookstore where the signing is being held, but when I see the pull-up with the cover of my book at the entrance of the bookstore, the butterflies return to my stomach with a vengeance, and all thoughts of Christian temporarily hide into the back of my head.

I see Jerry and Hannah waiting for me inside the bookstore, and as soon as I make my way through the door, they approach me with huge smiles on their faces.

I can see their mouths moving, but for the life of me, I cannot focus on any work they're saying. The nerves are threatening to get the best of me, making me take a few deep breaths. After a couple of minutes, Jerry and Hannah leave me to go make sure of the final touches, and I see Kate approach me.

I softly shake my head at her, silently telling her that I need to be alone at the moment.

I walk around the bookstore for a few minutes, and the fact that now my name and my book will be among the hundreds of books on the shelves makes my skin break out in goosebumps.

I wonder how my parents would feel if they were still alive.

I'd like to think that they would be proud, but I guess I'll never know.

Before I know it, I hear Jerry calling my name, telling me that fans are ready to come in. A limited e-book edition was published a few months ago, and based on that reaction, Grey Publishing decided that they want to print hard copies of Grey Eyes.

Looking out the door, I gasp at the number of fans out there.

"Fuck." I swear under my breath.

"Nothing to be nervous about, sweetie." Kate says as she gently rubs her hand over my arm. "They're here for you, not against you."

I nod at her as I take my place at the table behind many copies of my books, and before I even know it, the doors are open and the first fan approaches me with a huge smile on her face.

I don't know how much time passes, or how many copies I signed. All I know is that my arm is feeling numb and my face feels like the smile is going to be permanently stuck on it.

"Are we done, yet?" I ask as I close my eyes and rub my temples.

"Only one more left." Kate says, making me sigh before I put on a big smile. Once I open my eyes, I see a copy of my book opened up to the dedication page.

The dedication that simply said _"To Grey Eyes, thank you."_

"Who shall I sign this to?" I ask as I take the book without looking up to see who is standing in front of me.

"Grey Eyes, please." That all too familiar voice says, making me gasp and drop the pen from my hand.

 _Oh, how I missed that voice._

 _How I missed the owner of that voice._

Slowly, ever so slowly, I look up and find Christian standing there with a warm smile on his face.

"You're here." I say, not thinking of anything better to say.

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world." He says, that warm smile still decorating his face.

As if my body has a mind of its own, I feel myself stand up and quickly move around the table before I wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his chest.

"Thank you." I mumble after a few seconds. "Thank you so much, Christian. This wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He says, but the smirk on his face tells me that he's lying.

"Thank you anyway." I say with my own smile.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" He asks after a few seconds of silence, the smirk now replaced with a serious look.

I only nod at him, and when I turn to tell Kate that I'll be leaving, she only smiles and waves at me, which makes me believe that she knew Christian would be showing up today.

"Where are we going?" I say once we're in the privacy of his car, surprisingly, without Taylor anywhere in sight. "Where's Taylor?"

"I'm taking you to dinner, because it's obvious you've lost a lot of weight." He says, giving me an angry glare. "And today is Taylor's day off."

"Ok." I say, not knowing what else to add to that. I know that I've lost too much weight. I just haven't been in the mood to eat much lately.

Well, more like for the past year, but who's counting?

"How have you been?" I ask in an attempt to make small talk.

"Miserable." Christian simply says, making me look at him with wide eyes. "What? Did you want me to lie and tell you that I've been happy this past year?"

"Then why…" I start, but my voice trails off, not really knowing how to finish that sentence.

"We'll talk over dinner." Christian says, and I can see that he's gripping the steering wheel extra strong.

We don't say anything else for the remainder of the ride. I don't really know what to think anymore. If he's really been that miserable, then why didn't he approach me? Why didn't he try to talk to me?

A million questions are going through my mind that I don't even notice he's parked the car until he opens my door for me. He offers me his hand to help me out, and I really, really want to act like a child and smack it away, but I don't.

As he leads me inside the restaurant, I have to admire the calm and serene atmosphere of the place, and I can't help but smile when we follow the waiter into a private dining room.

"I hope that you don't mind the private dining room, but I thought it would be better for the talk we're about to have." Christian says as he pulls my chair for me. I take my seat with a small smile and a nod, not knowing if I should be nervous about what he's going to tell me or if I should be happy about the fact that we're out in public together.

 _It should've been this way from the start, but you were a damn coward._

I shake my head at the internal voice screaming at me, earning a raised eyebrow from Christian.

"Don't worry about it." I say and take a sip of the glass of water the waiter just placed in front of me. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Before I start, I need you to promise me that you're not going to be mad at Kate." Christian says with a serious look on his face. "Elliot will kill me if you two drifted apart."

"What does Elliot have to do with anything?" I ask. I think back to Kate's smile as we were leaving the bookshop, and his words confirm my suspicion of her knowing that he would be there today.

"Elliot and Kate have been dating for a few months now." Christian says, and to say that I'm shocked would be an understatement.

Why didn't she tell me? Have I been that bad of a friend that she couldn't tell me?

"Stop blaming yourself." Christian says with a sigh, making my eyes grow wide. "I know you, Anastasia, and I know how your mind works. She didn't tell you because I asked her, no, begged her not to. She wanted to tell you once things started to get more serious between them."

"Why?" I ask after a long silence. "Why did you ask her that?"

Christian lets out a loud sigh just as the waiter comes back to the room asking for our drinks order. I want to yell at him to get out, to just leave us alone, but Christian smirks at me as he rattles on a name of a fancy wine that I can't even begin to pronounce.

"I hope that's ok with you." Christian says after the waiter leaves us again.

"Why?" I ask again, not really caring about the brand of wine he ordered.

"Before things ended between us, I was looking into buying a publishing house. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I did that because GEH needed to venture down that road. It didn't, and it still doesn't. I wanted to buy it for you." Christian says, earning a shocked gasp from me. "I knew how much you loved writing and how much you wanted to have your career in that, so I was hoping to give you the company as a gift one day."

Christian pauses when the waiter comes back once more, and this time I can't control the groan that leaves my throat.

"Easy there, tiger." Christian says with a smile as he tastes the wine, making me shoot him a deadly glare. Once the waiter takes our dinner order, he leaves and this time, I really hope he doesn't come back for a long time.

"You were saying?" I ask when Christian just sips on his wine. I'm sure he can hear the annoyance in my tone, so he just raises his eyebrow at me. "Things were over between us, Christian, yet you meddled between Kate and I. If my friendship with her gets affected, I'm blaming you."

"Fine." Christian huffs with a roll of his eyes, and I have to hold back the giggle that is threatening to leave my lips. "Anyway, when you made your choice that day, I knew that I needed to take matters in my own hands as far as your book was concerned. You were too stubborn to realize that you are a great author, and without me in your life, and given the fact that you never let anyone read what you write, I was afraid that you'll just stop and won't take that step."

"You knew…" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Yes, I knew you weren't ready for that step, but here you are now." He says with a pointed look. "You also weren't ready to leave Jack, yet you had moved in with Kate the very next day we broke up."

"How do you know that?"

"Kate told me, but even if she didn't, you were divorced 3 weeks after that. It was pretty obvious." Christian says with a shrug.

"Why didn't you contact me?" I blurt out, my brain to mouth filter having decided to break down right then.

"Why didn't you?" He asks without missing a beat.

My shoulders fall in defeat at his question, and I know that I'm at fault as much as he is, if anyone is at fault to begin with.

"Baby, you don't have to explain things." Christian says with a soft voice as he reaches to hold my hand over the table, and my entire body tingles at that simple touch.

 _Oh, how I missed him!_

"I didn't contact you for the exact same reason you didn't contact me." Christian goes on to explain, and my eyebrows reach my hairline at his admission. "I admit, I was furious at first when a few weeks went by after your divorce and you didn't reach out to me. I thought you had just used me as an out from your miserable marriage."

"Christian…" I start, but he cuts me off again.

"I now know that wasn't the case. I'm just telling you how I felt." He says with a weak smile. "Then a couple of months after that, I ran into Kate, and we went out for coffee. She told me everything, how you were focusing on your book, and how you wanted to figure out who you were before doing anything else. When I heard that, I fell deeper in love with you, if that is even possible. I already knew what a strong woman you are, but hearing Kate say that proved it more."

"You still…." I begin, but my voice trails off, too afraid to say the words.

"Yes, I still love you. I haven't stopped loving you for one second. God knows I wanted to, but I couldn't." Christian says as he gently squeezes my hand, just as the waiter comes with our dinner. He places the plates in front of us, but my eyes don't leave Christian's for one second. "Anyway, after Kate explained everything, I knew that I should get in touch with you, but I also knew that I should keep my distance for the time being. That's why I asked her to keep the fact that we've been in touch and that she's dating Elliot to herself. I wanted you to focus fully on yourself. I wanted you to realize what a great woman you are, so that when I contacted you again, nothing would stand in our way."

"You still want to be with me?" I ask, my voice filled with shock and surprise. "After everything I've done, you still want to be with me?"

"If you'll have me." He says with a small shrug. "I haven't been able to move on, Ana. I haven't been able to even as much as look at another woman, let alone date her. You've consumed me. My days begin and end with thoughts of you. I always wondered what you were doing. If you were happy or not. If you were safe or not." He says and takes a deep breath. "That day you left, you took my heart with you. I just want to know if I still have yours."

"You always have, Christian." I say, earning a relieved sigh from him. "My love for you was never a question. It's my insecurities and low self-esteem that stood in our way. I know better know. I know better than to doubt you. I know better than to question your love."

"You can't imagine how it feels to hear you say that, Ana." He says with a smile.

"But…" I begin, and I notice his entire body tense. "No more keeping tabs on me through my best friend!"

"You're not mad at her, are you?" He asks with a worried tone.

"No, I can't say I am. I would've done the same if she were in my shoes." I say with a shrug.

"I can see how you two are great friends."

"She's been my anchor in many phases of my life." I say with a fond smile as I talk about my best friend. "I should've opened up to her a long time ago. Maybe all of the heartache we went through would've been avoided."

"There's no point in dwelling over the what-ifs. Everything happens for a reason, and our story would be a great one to tell our grandkids."

"Grandkids?" I ask with a laugh.

"Yes, grandkids." Christian says with a beaming smile as he stands up from his chair and moves it so that he's sitting right next to me. "But in order to have grandkids, we need to have kids first. Now, I don't mind doing things in a non-traditional way, but I do prefer to enjoy you as my wife for a while first before we add babies to our life."

Hearing that, I can't help but giggle again, and I feel my heart swell with the amount of love I feel for the man in front of me.

"I missed that sound." Christian says, his voice suddenly intense. "You should always be happy and giggling like that, Ana."

"I am happy." I say and I feel a blush color my face at the heated look in his eyes. "I was happy with the book deal, I was happy with finding my own way, but something was missing. You were missing. Now, I can honestly say that I have everything I ever wanted in life."

"I'm going to make sure things stay that way." He says as he reaches to touch my face, and just like that first night over a year ago, I lean into his touch and close my eyes, enjoying the fact that he's in front me, that he still wants me.

That he still loves me.

"Can I kiss you?" He suddenly asks, and I look at him through hooded eyes before I silently nod at him. Next thing I know, his lips are on mine in a slow yet passionate kiss. I can feel him pouring every emotion into that kiss. His love, his pain, his frustration, his joy. I can feel it all as his lips move expertly over mine, and I can only hope that he can feel my love and happiness in my kiss.

"You need to eat." Christian gasps as he pulls away from me and rests his forehead over mine. "You've lost too much weight."

"I'm not hungry for food anymore." I whisper as I run my fingers through his hair.

"Oh, Ms. Steele. What am I supposed to do with you?" He says as he pulls away only a fraction to look deep into my eyes.

"Take me home, Christian." I say after a few seconds of silence. "Just take me home."


End file.
